[Calvin is in his room, grinning evilly while waving a few dollar bills at the camera]Guess who just joined the working world? That’s right, me! I’m now making money as part of the glamorous, fast-paced private sector! I’m a product tester for Weasley Wizards Wheezes, an important part of the mighty corporate machine ( Read more... )

Hey everyone, I have a purely hypothetical question for all of you. What would you do if you accidentally, through absolutely no fault of your own, you did something really bad? Wait, no, not did something bad, just caused something bad. Say you, oh, I don’ t know, accidentally doomed a City or something. What would you do? Try to fix it? Find a ( Read more... )

[Calvin is wearing a newspaper hat on his head. Calvin is waving a water pistol. Calvin is standing on top of a pile of boxes roughly resembling a fort, surrounded by water balloons. Calvin looks serious ( Read more... )

[The communicator is propped up on an armrest, and the video shows Calvin slouched on a couch in a posture more commonly associated with certain invertebrates. The room he's in is dark. A a flickering glow bathes his face. In the background, a chattering announcer is explaining how you can improve your life today by wearing the proper brand of ( Read more... )

Hey, everybody listen up! Angelica’s back and I’m gonna celebrate, which means it's time for a game of Calvinball! Also known as the Best Game Ever because I invented it! Everyone who wants to have fun has got to meet me outside Xavier’s this weekend. If you don’t come, you’re not cool! Got all that?

Oh, and you have to bring a mask.

[ooc: log's ( Read more... )

[The video shows Calvin standing in his (very messy) room at the Xavier’s Institute, smiling.]

Big news, everybody! The results are in! It was a really tight race between lots of strong candidates, but the swing vote of the six-year-old demographic proved crucial in deciding the outcome. It looks like I’m going to be staying with Miss Angelica ( Read more... )

[Calvin is sitting in the Institute’s break room with a mug of cocoa... and a graph set up on an easel behind him, drawn crudely in different-coloured markers]Hello everyone! I’m Calvin, and I’m here to talk to you all about the wonders of democracy! Democracy is a system of government that operates under the principle of ‘one person, one vote.’ In ( Read more... )

[The video comes on to show a little kid with messy hair glaring into the camera. He’s shivering on account of being outside in December wearing a red striped t-shirt.]Hey! Hey, is anyone there? That darn Porter brought me back here without Hobbes! AGAIN! Can you believe the nerve? And she couldn’t have taken me while I was wearing my snow suit or ( Read more... )

C'mon... c'mon... just gotta get the angle right and-

[Shunk]

NO! Aarrrrrgh, not again! Stupid figurine! How hard can this dumb thing be?! C'mon, it's just a lousy piece of wood!

[Video comes on to show Calvin in his room with a brutalized lump of wood lying on his desk, surrounded by knife-marks and with a crayon picture labeled 'Cal-van, ( Read more... )

Hello? Hello, I need to talk to any and all lawyer guys and civil liberties advocates right now about something horrible being done to my fundamental human rights! I'm being oppressed! And repressed! My freedoms are being trampled! An unaccountable authority has inflicted grossly disproportionate cruel and unusual punishment upon me beyond all ( Read more... )